Tentative World Cup Predictive Stock Board That Doesn’t Really Matter

May 13, 2010 § Leave a comment

8. Paraguay – (sleeper)

7. Italy – they play a style that wins. Some think it ugly as hell, but you can’t argue with the results. Someone pointed out to me that Italian soccer is the embodiment of Rove-ian Politics of Negation. Fair enough. But Rove won two elections.

6. Chile – “We all play in South America where none of our games make it on to your TV so you don’t know how terrified you should be of us.”

5. The Dutch – If you know of any people playing better than Robben and Sneijder at the moment. Let me know. I’ve always wanted to see Pele and Crujff reincarnated.

4. Spain – I’d put them lower if I could. I think this team is ripe for a gacking. Triumph of hype over cold-eyed assessment, this team.

3. Argentina – Love their defense, and Messi the Killer Happy Hobbit is on the team, so….yeah. Number 3.

2. Germany – They always play well. Always. Everyone forgets this and gets excited about the less-Aryan looking players (as sometimes they should), but we should learn to stop taking Germany’s relentless efficiency for granted.

1. Brazil – They’re so far ahead that the rest of this list doesn’t matter. Their coach Dunga’s got them on this cool kinda 3-5-2 formation where they’re going to gnaw up the field with a fleet of world class midfielders.

Srsly guyz, don’t let all the Spain-ilingus distract you. Brazil is heads and shoulders above the rest in the world right now.

Btw, I have the USA team just outside these at # 10. Love their group, and they have enough counter-strike-y things in the quiver to make trouble in the brackets.

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